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…more than that, the Walker has moved…to a different site. The Walker, you see, can’t stay in one cramped place for a long time…she needs a place that’s big enough for her to walk around in.

Now she has a place all her own.

So visit her at http://thewalkerootoo.blogspot.com …the Walker’s new home.

Urbanite Run Delight!

This is going to be my next race, the Kenny’s Open ’09 Urbanite Run!

Kenny's Open '09 Urbanite Run

Set for Aug. 15, 2009, Saturday, I’m all excited about this for a number of things…

1. It’s at night🙂 My first time to race at night…cooler temp, lights around for a different race ambience…hopefully some glow in the dark stuffies…and perhaps a more festive air🙂

2. Post race gimmik!😀 I’m hoping there’s going to be some post-race LCLP or videoke!

3. I hear there’s a concert by Tribo Manila?🙂 This ought to add to the light and bubbly race mood🙂

4. Knee high socks!😛 My first time to race in knee high socks, too…just a little fun-knee thing some Takbo.ph peeps thought of doing to add spice to the run…tuloy ba ito? Sabagay, I don’t mind being the only one in knee high socks in case you guys chicken (mind you, that’s Kenny Roger’s Roasters chicken!) out😛 Bwahahahah!!

5. Nice and easy 5K run🙂 No pressures for me…my goal for this race is to run the entire 5K without walk breaks…no matter how slow my time🙂 But, if I can’t hack that, I don’t care🙂 I’m running for the fun of it🙂 Though, I might have to hurry…don’t want to be late for the LCLP!😛 hahaha!!

6. The timing chip!😀 My first ever encounter with that cute little gadget was at the Globe Run For Home. Needless to say, the post-race reporting was very interesting🙂 Sure it had some glitches here and there, but over-all, this cutesy wootsey time chippy is definitely a helpful addition to races…it’d be nice if all races had this little thingiemajigsie🙂

Details? Oh, I’m sure you guys already know…you’ve all probably registered already, too🙂 If not, well, just click here (Takbo.ph details), here (Kenny Roger’s Page) or here (Gingerbreadman’s Report) .

Oh, yeah, those two guys from the Amazing Race…(lemme think for a while…) yeah…Mr. Marc Nelson and Mr. Rovilson (I’ve forgotten your first name…sorry…it ain’t you…it’s me) I hear are gonna be there…so I’m sure lotsa girls are quite excited about this, too!🙂

Today is July 29, 2009, Wednesday. Today I ran the longest run in my entire 34 years. Got to do an entire 3 kilometers running, without any walk-breaks, including uphills. I must say, I never thought I could ever, EVER do anything like this. The longest I could run before May of this year was maybe 1 minute…and that’s with difficulty. Now, I’m running almost 30 minutes straight. When I started this running thing, I was wondering when and how the improvement would come. I was honestly getting all frustrated. I’d reached 100 kilometers, and yet I couldn’t run for more than 5 minutes yet. I was just about to throw in the towel, call it quits and give up, thinking I’m not made for this. But friends kept telling me to hold on for a little while longer, be more patient, place no pressure on myself…and I’m glad I did. The improvement just came so suddenly. From running no more than 5 minutes straight, I could suddenly run a little over 1 kilometer without stopping to walk. That happened at BHS just last week. I was prepared for just an easy walk-run…no pressures…and I just found myself running, slowly, but still running…waiting for the time I’d start to lose my breath…but it didn’t come. Then yesterday, I ran 2.7 kilometers without any walk breaks, too…and like the previous run at BHS, I was anticipating the usual chest tightness and difficulty breathing, but, again, it didn’t come. Add to this was the relative ease with which I ran the uphills. I’m still wary about pushing myself…I don’t want to suddenly get an asthma attack…but I’m sensing I’m really improving now. I had to stop in the middle of running the second round’s uphills, but that’s alright…I knew I had other days to conquer it, so I let it go and walked to the top. Today, I did more than yesterday…conquered two rounds of uphills and ran an additional 600 meters. I noticed I run better and longer when I’m relaxed…when I’ve no expectations from myself or others…when I’m not pushing myself to achieve anything, when I just run for the sake of running. Today I ran the longest run of my life so far. I hope it’s not the last. For some reason, though, I’m quite certain it ain’t…🙂

Winceth aka Patrick aka Pat aka Ultrapat came here to Tagaytay from Imus last Saturday, July 25, 2009…on foot (32 kms). He left Imus at around 4:30 am, and I started seeing his orange form bounding the uphill stretch of Aguinaldo Highway around 8:30 or 8:45am. We took a few pics (hmmm…I forgot to include myself in the pictures…dang it…😛 ), had breakfast at Chowking, and I proceeded to my clinic, where I had 3 patients waiting na pala (the nurses’ fault…I told them to inform as soon as a patient arrives…they forgot)…got to take a look at Ultrapat’s optic nerve pa (how cool is that? I was curious to see if the secret to endless cardiovascular endurance and ultramarathoning success lay in the very depths of the eye…seems I’ll have to look elsewhere😛 ). Syempre, di pa nakuntento si Ultrapat…nag-LSD ulit the following day sa Sta. Rosa Cardiac Hills naman! Lupit mo Ultrapat!!😀

I just finished reading the book Twilight.  I’m sad.  I’d been reading it in installments just to prolong the nice “kilig” feelings😛  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a Twilight fan…obviously…otherwise, I’d have read all four books in the series three times over by now.  And before you close this page and move on to another blog about running, this ISN’T going to be about Twilight the book or Twilight the movie, or some kind of book review.  It IS going to be about running, but you’ll have to be a little bit more patient…this is after-all, all about DELAYED GRATIFICATION ;D  So, going back…I just finished Twilight the book this morning.  I liked it.  The book, I mean.  I thoroughly hated the movie…okay, so that’s a little too strong…I didn’t like the movie…I found it cheesy and mushy and mucky and the leads had these weird expressions on their faces all the time, and…yeah…this isn’t going to be a movie review, too.  Okay.  Thing is, though, I was curious about the book…books are always better than the movies…so I decided to try the book out, give it a chance.  It was nice!😀 I found that I hadn’t wanted to end the book too soon…so I read it in installments.  Now, though, I’m done, and I’m craving for the next one.  Last July 19, 2009, Sunday, I ran 5K at the Globe Run For Home.  I blogged about how bad I felt in that particular race in A Little Step Down…. The race started bad for me, and ended worse, with a perceived 5K time of 46 minutes. Fast forward to July 23, 2009, when the results came in. I wasn’t that excited, but I had this little twinge of hope that maybe I was looking at the wrong timer and had gotten a better time that I’d initially thought. So, in spite of myself, I checked the results. I wasn’t in it. My last name wasn’t listed. Just my luck. I needed my bib number…which was tucked away, crumpled (I told you I wasn’t feeling so good about that race) in a bag somewhere in my cluttered room here in Tagaytay. Great. That time I was checking my results, I was in Manila. I deliberated on whether or not to use up some load to call home, instruct lengthily to the helper, and use up some load again to call after a few minutes, all just to find out my race number. What the heck. I’d already been through the heartache anyway, confirming my suspicions wouldn’t be so bad. AND if for some unfathomable miracle I did make a mistake of looking at the wrong timer, I wanted the pick me upper at once, right then and there! So I finished up my load calling twice home, got my number and inputted it into the field. What do you know? All my self-bashing, lost confidence and self-pity that Sunday at the race were all for naught! I WAS looking at the wrong timer!😛 I did do better that I’d expected! It was actually even a PR run for me!😛 Instead on the 46 minutes I was crying over, I ran my 5K in 38.15 minutes😛 I suddenly felt sooooo stupid, but in a very good way😛 Sometimes they say it’s alright to be so down…because, then you’d have nowhere else to go but up🙂 I couldn’t believe that more than on that particular day when I found out about my results and my happy mistake. I’d actually been mulling over quitting, or sticking to lower distances…and I couldn’t believe how nasty your decisions can get when your mind is so muddled with defeat and loss. So was this delayed gratification? You bet it was! This was even better than all the “kilig” I got from Twilight😛 Lesson learned? Push on…believe in yourself, don’t run for the time, run to run, run because it’s fun, run because you can…because you STILL CAN…and lastly, look at the damned correct timer!!

As with the book, Twilight, this delayed gratification thing has got me craving…for more runs and more races!😀 See you at the Urbanite!

My race result here🙂

It’s funny that the results say, “you passed 3 runners…” then it goes, “289 runners passed you…” Hahaha!! I’m that slow!😛 Still happy!😀

A Little Step Down…

I’ve reached an intersection.  It’s either I stop or I go.  Though most people would say “push on!”…I think I have to understand, realize and accept the limitations of my body…and listen intently to what it has to say.  I guess not everyone’s born to run.  Especially not someone who has some darned effing  lung problem.  It’s hard and so very frustrating for me to see other runners who started out at the same time I did  achieving things I still can’t do by now.  I feel I have to be at par with others of my own kind, so to speak.  I’m not asking to be the best, I’d be crazy to wish for that (though, I must admit at first I really did think I could hack it…that at least I could be among the running monsters…what a psycho thought…I was in Neverland then, I guess…but I’ve fallen back to reality now landing on my head with a big, big thud…that brought me back to my senses), but at least I’d like to be running with the pack.   I used to run because it felt good, because I was happy with what little improvements I’d get from every run…but at this infant stage, I find that I’ve placed too much pressure on myself, citing past glories in other sports, thinking that this is much the same thing, not wanting to accept that this is thoroughly different from what I’ve been used to, stubbornly believing that I can just cut corners on this one and expect to see great results.  I’ve pretty much turned running into an unwinnable battle with myself, raising the bar much higher than it should be, using others as yardsticks upon which to gauge my performance, inevitably turning what used to be a happy endeavor into an activity that’s pressure-filled, frustratingly disappointing and downright joyless.  A friend told me the other day, if the joy is gone, then there’s no more point in doing it.  I agree with that.  Though, I think, too, that a lot of it stems from how you view things, how you change your perspective in a manner that would be best for you.  Right now, though I seriously believe that not everyone’s born to be a runner, and that it has pretty much dawned on me, finally, that this sport just isn’t for me to excel in, I think it’s still much too early for me to quit.  Maybe I just need to lower my bar and go back to having fun with my run.  I think I’ll just run 3K in my next races.  Or go back to being contented with having completed a 5K run…just to run and see the sights, feel the pre-race rush, forget about the time, ditch the craving for PR’s, care not about how others are faring.  Maybe I’ll go back to badminton just to remind myself that at least I can still be quite good at something.  I’m backing up and taking the other road that’s maybe more suited for me.  At this intersection, I’m not stopping.  I’m just slowing down.  I can make running a happy activity for me again.

Solo Flight

The Globe Run For Home last July 19, 2009 was the first time I’d be running alone. My usual running mate had decided to run a 10K, instead of 5K, at the almost-last-minute. I was a little anxious…it’s not exactly my cup of tea to be waiting alone for my turn to run…but more than that, I felt a little sad…a mild case of separation anxiety, if you may. When we arrived, I was almost frantically searching the sea of runners for anyone I know, specifically orange takbo.ph clad 5K-ers…but saw no one. Oh well, so I joined the 10K runners til gun-off, then I was alone…I felt so very sad and lonely…and more than that, I felt a little awkward, lost and stupid, too (since I was pushed by the wave of excited runners to the very front…with the elites). When the gun went off, I was relieved. Now, it’s alright for me to be alone. I lost my jitters and concentrated on finishing the course. Unfortunately, though, when I neared the finish line, I got confused as to which timer to check…trust me to get confused at the simplest things…I’m cute and charming that way (I annoy people, too, with this trait, but I’d rather think of myself as cute and charming). One of the timers said an hour something. Nope, not that one, I knew I was slow…but I knew enough I wasn’t THAT slow. The other said 45 or 46 mins…I was aghast…so I thought maybe, it’s the other one, it said 35 or 36 something…I couldn’t believe I’d ran that fast. So it must’ve been 46 minutes. I stopped running, slowed to a walk, and hung my head in dejection.  I wanted to cry.  I was so disappointed with myself.  I hated my run. I wanted to go home. I didn’t want to see anyone anymore after that. So then I dragged myself slowly back to the car to get the camera, cool off, grab a drink and collect my thoughts. I went back to the race area, hopefully to catch a pic of my running buddy cross the finish line. Unfortunately, even for this small task, I was too slow. I’d missed it already. Oh well. I was seriously considering skipping meeting up and waiting for the other takbo peeps, but I’d promised Timmy I’d stick around after the race, so I did. Which turned out to be that race’s saving grace. The laughter, camaraderie, antics and overall air of enthusiasm and outpouring of support for one another was infectious…even for someone as uberly negatively charged as me. My spirits lifted somewhat (I heal slowly…I was telling Timmy a couple of minutes ago, I’m a girl and I’m entitled to be dramatic and emotional…and just about now, I LOVE being a girl and all the excuses that come with it😛 ). I didn’t feel so alone anymore🙂 (yup, that’s a little smile🙂 ).

I guess I’ll have to learn to fly by myself now. Oh, wait, I have to learn how to fly first nga pala…dang it…😀

Addendum:

Carlo, it was great seeing you again…and for a longer time this time…may pics pa to boot!😀 Congrats on another PR! And thanks for your offer to pace me in my first 10K, whenever that will be (if it will ever be, that is😛 )

Jet, finally, we meet😀 I’m glad you like the new layout🙂

Mhel, grabe, your daughter is sooooooooo cute!!!

Bryan, I’m proud of you🙂 Monster boo!😛 Thanks for putting up with me…it’s a mega-feat, I know, and you deserve a medal and podium finish for it!😛

Marga, seeing you is like a breath of fresh air…ewan ko ba! gumagaan pakiramdam ko lagi pag-nakikita o nakakausap kita😀

Luis, I hope your knees are (or knee’s?) okay na😦 I hate it when anyone gets injured😦 Congrats for finishing despite the pain, though…that was still a loooong way to go…it’s amazing how you still pushed on🙂

Patrick, super thanks for the early morning text dedicating your run to me…soooo touched🙂 And congrats on your run…I don’t know if it was a PR for you or not, but, my gosh ang bilis mo!😛

Dennis, thanks for offering, too, to pace me for my first 10K…in case mapagod na si Carlo kakakwento, ikaw naman😛

Rod, ang init talaga!  ba’t ka naka-jacket?😛  sorry, bad race for me😦 bad bad time😦  should’ve chatted with you again the night before my run😦

Lorie, like Jet, nagkita na rin tayo!😀

Timmy, we didn’t get to talk na after the race, but I loved your blog (misery loves company…bwahahha!!)…it helped make me feel I’m not the only one…

…and to the entire Takbo.ph gang, I’m glad to have known you…you saved that race from being a total wreck for me😛

you saved my (race) day :)

you saved my (race) day🙂